For the most part, grandparents are a gift to a family. They can give support and help to parents and enrich the lives of their grandchildren. But some grandparents aren’t so helpful and healthy, leading the children’s parents to restrict or prohibit visitation.
Then there are the adult children who are estranged from their parents or have a complex relationship with them and the grandchildren are denied visitations with the grandparents – even when the relationship is a healthy one.
There’s a lot involved in those relationships, and it isn’t always straightforward when it comes to visitation with grandparents. However, in New York, some laws give grandparents avenues to gain visitation with their grandchildren as long as it is in the best interest of the child.
If you are a grandparent or there are grandparents in your children’s lives, here’s what you need to know.
What are grandparents’ rights?
The truth is, the law prefers the parental relationship with the children most of the time and that relationship is preserved first. Grandparents have no real rights to their grandchildren because of this. There are times when the court awards grandparents visitation rights.
All 50 states and Washington, D.C. do have some form of a statute that provides “grandparent visitation” rights. This typically grants parties outside of the parental unit such as stepparents, foster parents, and grandparents, a legal right to have visitation with the children and maintain that relationship. The specifics of these laws vary from state to state.
New York is one of the states that does give grandparents a way to maintain the relationship with their grandchildren.
Do grandparents have legal rights to see their grandchildren in New York?
In New York visitation is not automatically granted to grandparents, but the law does give grandparents a legal right to file a request to obtain court-ordered visitation with their grandchildren.
There are several instances where grandparents are able to request visitation:
- If one or both parents die
- If the grandparents have an existing, substantial, close relationship with their grandchildren
- If the children’s parents have interfered with the grandparents’ efforts to maintain or establish a relationship with their grandchildren
This law applies to biological grandparents or adoptive grandparents only. It does not apply to other relatives, including great-grandparents.
Can you take your son or daughter to court for grandparents’ rights?
New York law does allow grandparents to take their adult children to court to obtain grandparents’ rights for their grandchildren. The grandparent can file a petition with the court that is heard by a judge who then hands down a verdict.
This is often a last resort though because a court battle exacerbates an already strained relationship between the grandparents and their adult child. This can in turn put more pressure on the child when they do go to visit.
At the end of the day, you need to decide if the child’s visitation with grandparents is truly the best choice for the child or if the child’s peace of mind is a better option.
Can you get grandparents’ rights if the child is adopted?
New York state law does not prohibit grandparents from seeking visitation with their grandchildren, even when the child is adopted. The court will always put the best interests of the children, but the case will be held and adjudicated.
The court will look at what is in the best interest of the child first and foremost when making its determination about whether to give grandparents rights or not.
Do you have to let kids see their grandparents?
For the most part, the parents of the child have the final say regarding whom they spend time with, including visiting with grandparents. However, if the parents do not live together, either one can allow the children to see their grandparents during regular parental visitation.
With that being said, if an adult child refuses to allow a grandparent to visit with their children, the grandparent can take the adult child to court and the judge could end up telling them that they have to give the grandparents visitation.
On the other hand, if visiting the grandparents raises concerns about the children’s safety, then a judge can restrict or prohibit contact with the grandparents. This can happen even if the parents don’t live together and the children go for visitation. If there is an order preventing contact then the court order must be adhered to regardless.
Do you have a right to know who your child is around?
Each parent has the right to know who their children are spending time with during visitation, where the children are during visitation, and if the children are left with friends, family, or a babysitter when the other parent can’t be with the children.
If one parent has a problem with someone the other parent is exposing the children to, they can go to court and get an order that prohibits that person or people from being around the child.
What do you do when you can’t see your grandchildren?
If one or both grandparents are denied visitation with their grandchildren they need to take it to family court and allow a family court judge to decide. Getting upset is one of the quickest ways to get visitation denied. It is best to proceed calmly and have an attitude of cooperation.
This can be a very complex case and hiring a divorce attorney is the best course of action.
How do you get grandparents’ rights in NY?
When a grandparent or grandparents wishes to seek legal visitation with their grandchildren when the visits are being restricted or denied, the first step is to try to talk it out and make an arrangement that does not involve the court.
If that is not successful, the grandparents must file a petition with the court. The petition should contain specific information:
- A description of the reason for the petition which can include if there is an existing relationship with the grandchild
- The interactions with key parties
- How the grandparent visitation is in the grandchild’s best interest
- A proposed visitation schedule
Once the grandparent files the petition, the court will notify all parties involved, which can include the parents of the grandchildren if possible. In some cases, the court will appoint an attorney to represent the child.
The grandparent is required to establish legal grounds for visitation, meaning that one or both of the children’s parents are dead or there is already a deep, close relationship between the grandparent and child that exists.
The grandparents must bear the burden of proof to show that it is in the best interest of the child to spend time with their grandparents.
What is grandparent alienation?
Grandparent alienation is considered to be a type of elder abuse. It occurs when one or both grandparents are unreasonably and intentionally restricted or denied the opportunity to build and enjoy a relationship with their grandchildren, which is in the best interest of the child.
There are many forms of grandparent alienation:
- Threatening to withhold or withholding contact with one or more of their grandchildren
- Limiting the access that the grandparents have to the grandchildren
- Allowing very quick, unsubstantial contact with the grandchildren
- Omitting or failing to include grandparents when creating parental contact arrangements per Children’s Court orders
- Saying negative things in front of the children about the grandparents
- Emotional blackmailing
- Bullying or coercing the grandparents into certain actions like writing a will, making a succession plan, or planning their estate by threatening that if they don’t do what the parents want, the grandparents will not be allowed to see the grandchildren.
Families can get messy from time to time. Any relationship has its ups and downs, In the grandparent relationship, the best interest of the children should override everything else including hurt feelings, anger, or disappointment. If the parties are not able to handle the conflict like adults and put the children first, then it may be necessary to take legal action.
If you have questions about grandparents’ rights or if you have a grandparent’s rights case, you need experienced, compassionate, effective representation.
Call the Litvak Law Firm at 718-989-2908 for help on your grandparent’s rights case. Don’t just let these precious moments pass you by. Take action. Call us today.